Michael Bay diarrhea
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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