This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
