Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
