i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
She even gives head with a lisp.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
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