you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
They have beer where we have blood.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
So here I am, sexting at work.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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