i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
