Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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