I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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