Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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