It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
