You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
