actually, I'm a sock model
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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