Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
