I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
