I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Randomize
