Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
