Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
