its not stalking. its research.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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