I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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