and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
