that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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