Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
