How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
