Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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