i think my mom watched the whole time
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
