what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
