i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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