Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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