Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
