took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
