WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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