It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I lost the right to judge tonight
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
