when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
