I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
