Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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