last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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