just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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