At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
