just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
