we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
