so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
So apparently I’m into choking now
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