when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
It's shark week go big or go home
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
