I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
