And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
