I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You dont lie about slip and slides
don't judge my taste in strippers
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
