Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
