We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
