North Korea, Best Korea!
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
