I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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