Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
