shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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