Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
