new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
